THINGS A WIFE JUST WON'T SAY (but would in a perfect world)

1. I'll swallow it all . . . I love the taste.
2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
3. I'm bored.  Let's shave my pussy!
4. Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?
5. That was a great fart!  Do another one!
6. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
7. You're so sexy when you're hungover.
8. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.
9. Let's subscribe to Hustler.
10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?
11. Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses.
12. I'll be out painting the house.
13. I love it when you play golf on Sunday's, I just wish you had time
      to play on Saturday too.
14. Honey..our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!
15. I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?
16. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.
17. Your mother is way better than mine.
18. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's day thing and buy yourself new clubs.
19. I understand fully...our anniversary comes every year for christ's sake,
     you go hunting with the guys, it's a wonderful  stress reliever.
20. Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a pack of beer,
      a few joints, and have my friend Tammy over for a  threesome!
21. Not the fucking mall again, come on let's go to that new strip joint!
22. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire
      and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8.
23. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.                    24.....ifIdon't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!
25. I signed up for aerobics so that I can get my ankles behind my ears for you!