Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible.
 These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods:

 On Sears hairdryer:
 Do not use while sleeping.
 (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

 On a bag of Fritos:
 You could be a winner!  No purchase necessary.  Details inside.
 (The shoplifter special!)

 On a bar of Dial soap:
 Directions: Use like regular soap.
 (and that would be how?)

 On some Swann frozen dinners:
 Serving suggestion: Defrost.
 (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

 On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
 Fits one head.
 (The big one or the little one?)

 On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:  (printed on bottom of the box)
 Do not turn upside down.
 (Too late!  You lose!)

 On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
 Product will be hot after heating.
 (Are you sure???  Let's experiment.)

 On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
 Do not iron clothes on body.
 (But wouldn't that save more time?)
 (Whose body?)

 On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
 Do not drive car or operate machinery.
 (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we
  just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

 On Nytol sleep aid:
 Warning: may cause drowsiness.
 (One would hope!)

 On a Korean kitchen knife:
 Warning: keep out of children. or pets!
 (What's for dinner?)

 On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
 For indoor or outdoor use only.
 (As opposed to use in outer space.)

 On a Japanese food processor:
 Not to be used for the other use.
 (Now I'm curious.)

 On Sainsbury's peanuts:
 Warning: contains nuts.
 (but no peas?)

 On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
 Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
 (have a lobotomy)

 On a Swedish chainsaw:
 Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
 (What is this, a home castration kit?)

 On a child's Superman costume:
 Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
 (That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief)