Jack went to a urologist and told the doctor that he was having a
 problem.  "Well, doctor. I am having trouble gaining and keeping an
 erection, but I never had any trouble before I got very sick a while ago."
 
  After a complete exam the doctor determined that the muscles around
 the base of his manhood were damaged from a prior viral infection and
 there was little or nothing he could do for him. However, he knew of an
 experimental treatment that might be applicable, if Jack were willing to
 take the risk. The treatment consisted of implanting muscle tissue from an
 elephant's trunk to replace the damaged tissue.
 
  Jack thought about it for a while. He was a young man, and the
 thought of going through life without ever experiencing sex again was
 just too much for him to bear. So, with the assurance that there would
 be no cruelty or adverse effect on the elephant, Jack decided to go  for it.
 
  A few weeks after the operation, Jack was given the green light
 to use his newly renovated equipment. As a result, he planned a
 romantic evening with his young wife and took her to one of the nicest
 restaurants in the city. However, in the middle of dinner he felt a
 stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being
 extremely painful. To release the pressure, Jack unzipped his fly
 and immediately his equipment sprung from his pants, rose to the top
 of the table, grabbed a roll, then returned to his pants.
 
  His wife was stunned at first, but then with a sly smile on her
 face said, "Jack, that was incredible. Can you do that again?" Jack,
 with his eyes watering, replied, "I think I can, but I'm not sure I can
 fit another roll up my ass."