Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than
 an ambulance...
 

 Only in America...are there handicap parking places in
 front of a skating rink...
 

 Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a
 large fry, and a diet coke...
 

 Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then
 chain the pens to the counters...
 

 Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
 driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage...
 

 Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls
 and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone
 we didn't want to talk to in the first place...
 

 Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and
 buns in packages of eight...
 

 Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the
 process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning
 "blood-sucking creatures"...