A new two-year degree is being offered at Life University
that many of you should be interested in: Becoming A Real Man.
 

 That's right, in just six trimesters, you, too, can be a real man -
as well as earn an AA degree (AA Real Men).
  Please take a moment to look over the program outline.
 

FIRST YEAR

Autumn Schedule:
 MEN 101 Combating Stupidity
 MEN 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework
 MEN 103 PMS - Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
 MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas

Winter Schedule:
 MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques
 MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am
 MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
 EAT 100 Get a Life, Learn to Cook
 EAT 101 Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
 ECON 001A What's Hers is Hers

Spring Schedule:
 MEN 120 How NOT to Act Like an Jerk When You're Wrong
 MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence
 MEN 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex
 MEN 123 Reasons to Give Flowers
 

SECOND YEAR

Autumn Schedule:
 SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep without It
 SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower
 MEN 201 How to Stay Awake After Sex
 MEN 202 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down Elective (See electives Below)

Winter Schedule:
 MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
 MEN 211 How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
 MEN 212 You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
 MEN 213 Honest, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise, Especially When Naked
 MEN 230A Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 1

Spring Schedule:
 MEN 220 Omitting f*** from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
 MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket After Pooting Is Not Necessary
 MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions
 MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
 MEN 230B Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2
 

Course Electives:
 EAT 101 Cooking with Tofu
 EAT 102 Utilization of Eating Utensils
 EAT 103 Burping and BelchingDiscreetly
 MEN 231 Mothers-in-Law
 MEN 232 Appear to Be Listening
 MEN 233 Just Say "Yes, Dear"
 ECON 001B Cheaper to Keep Her (Must Pass ECON 001A)
 

And, to be fair.............

CONTINUING EDUCATION CLASSES FOR WOMEN

 1. Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome:You Do Not Need New Shoes everyday.
 2. Communication Skills: Tears-The Last Resort, Not the First.
 3.  Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.
 4.  The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.
 5.  Parties: Going Without New Outfits.
 6.  Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
 7.  Bathroom Etiquette II:  His Razor Is His.
 8.  Valuation: Just Because It's Not Important to You . . .
 9.  Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up.
 10. Advanced Parking:  Reversing Into A Space.
 11. Overcoming Anal Retentive Behavior:  Leaving the Towels on the Floor.
 12. Cooking: How Not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People.
 13. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully.
 14. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together.
 15. Sex: It's For Married Couples Too.
 16. "Do These Jeans Make My Butt Look Big?": Learning Why Men Lie.