VIRUS WARNING from MeMail.com
 
  Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings, but this
  one is extremely serious.  Please read very carefully and
  take care!
 
  If you  receive an email entitled "Crazy Times" delete it
  immediately. Do not open it! Apparently this one is pretty
  nasty.
 
  It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it
  will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your
  computer.
 
  It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.
 
  It reprograms your ATM access code, messes up the tracking
  on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any
  CD's you  attempt to play.
 
  It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings
  so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.
 
  It will program your phone autodial to call only your
  mother-in-law's number.
 
  This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
 
  It will drink all your beer.
 
  It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are
  expecting company.
 
  Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and
  bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate
  behind your ears.
 
  It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
  Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind
  your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
 
  It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a
  way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.
 
  It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.
 
  It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active
  verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings
 which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.
 
  If the "Crazy Times" message is opened in a Windows 95
  environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your
  hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
 
  It will not only remove the tags from your mattresses and
  pillows, but it will also refill your skimmed milk with whole milk.
 
  It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.
 
  It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume,
  causing it to smell like dill pickles.(Remember Brut 33 ?)
 
  It is insidious and subtle.
 
  It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
 
  It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
 
  These are just a few signs of infection.
 
  PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!
 
 
  ---------
  Thanks to Bill Gates and a small child with kidney failure
  for sending that in. If you pass this to at least 5 friends
  within the next three minutes Bill will give the kid a free
  copy of Windows 98.