WHY MEN ARE (JUSTIFIABLY) PROUD OF THEMSELVES
   1. We know stuff about tanks
   2. A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase
   3. We can open all our own jars
   4. We can go to the bathroom without a support group
   5. We don't have to learn to spell a new last name
   6. We can leave a motel bed unmade
   7. We can kill our own food
   8. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
   9. Wedding plans take care of themselves
  10. If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend
  11. Underwear is $10 a three-pack
  12. If you are 34 and single nobody notices
  13. Everything on our faces stays the original color
  14. Three pair of shoes are more than enough
  15. We don't have to clean the house if the meter reader is coming
  16. Car mechanics tell us the truth
  17. We can sit quietly and watch a game with a friend for hours without thinking,
       "He must be mad at me,"
  18. Same work-more pay
  19. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character
  20. We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
  21. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you
       just might become lifelong friends
  22. Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
  23. We are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors
  24. We almost never have a "strap problem" in public
  25. We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes
  26. The same hairstyle lasts for years-maybe decades
  27. We don't have to shave below the neck
  28. A few belches are expected and tolerated
  29. Our belly usually hides our big hips
  30. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons
  31. We can do our nails with a pocketknife
  32. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache
  33. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people on the
       day before Christmas and in 45 minutes