LOOK OUT FOR THESE VIRUSES !!!

* Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then
e-mails everyone about what it did.

* Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

* Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.

* Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB,
then slowly expands to 200MB.

* Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus: Deletes all old files.

* Ellen Degeneres virus: Disks can no longer be inserted.

* Titanic virus (a strain of Lewinski virus): Your whole computer goes
down.

* Disney virus: Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

* Prozac virus: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

* Joey Buttafuoco virus: Only attacks minor files.

* Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates some files, leaves, but it'll
be back.

* Lorena Bobbit virus: reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy
then discards through windows.

*Viagra virus: makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.