The following
were actually taken from recent newspapers:
----------------------------
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB --
$850/offer
----------------------------
AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN
BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.
-----------------------------
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY
DAYS.
-------------------------------
FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD -PART
DOG
------------------------------
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
------------------------------
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH
IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L,
AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION
$6800
-------------------------------
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...ALSO 1 GAY BULL
FOR SALE.
--------------------------------
83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000
---------------------------------
STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT --
$15
---------------------------------
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY
NEIGHBOR'S DOG
-----------------------------------
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT
LITTLE DOG.
----------------------------------
SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL
TISSUE 89 cents
-----------------------------------
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS
GERMAN. FREE.
-----------------------------------
FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR. WARRANTY. LIKE
NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
-----------------------------------
FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE
OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME.
----------------------------------
FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN)
- $50
-----------------------------------
NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED
CALL CHUBBIE
-------------------------------------
BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING "WE HAUL AMERICAN
MADE PRODUCTS"
--------------------------------------
SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE
CHOPSTICKS
--------------------------------------
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS
LIKE A RAT..
BEEN OUT AWHILE. BETTER BE
REWARD.
---------------------------------------
HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION
EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
----------------------------------------
GET A LITTLE JOHN: THE TRAVELING URINAL.
HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER.
-----------------------------------------
HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES
GUN CLUB
-----------------------------------------
GEORGIA PEACHES - CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89
cents lb.
------------------------------------------
NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
SLIGHTLY STAINED
-------------------------------------------
FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY
TO EAT.
------------------------------------------
AMERICAN FLAG - 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED
- $100
-------------------------------------------
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND
FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER
HOUR.
---------------------------------------------
NOTICE: TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO
TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY
87 NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE: PLEASE RETURN
THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED.
PUMPKIN MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER
PLANTS IN VICINITY ARE DEAD.
------------------------------------------------
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN
SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.
-------------------------------------------------
OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB - AND IT'S
MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
-------------------------------------------------
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST
SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
------------------------------------------------
LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT
THAT GUILTY.
------------------------------------------------
ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR
TO REMEMBER
--------------------------------------------
GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.
------------------------------
GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO
BELL.
----------------------------------
BAR S SLICED BOLOGNA REGULAR OR TASTY SAVE
30 CENTS ON 2 POUNDS
----------------------------------
OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON -
FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
--------------------------------------
KELLOGG'S POT TARTS - $1.99
box
-----------------------------------------------
FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09
lb.